Beyond Love's Fairytale
Love is a word often romanticized, usually confined to fairytales and rom-coms. But what about real life? Does love always strike like a bolt of lightning, or is it more like a candle that needs regular tending to? In my opinion, the truth lies somewhere in between the fairytales and the mundane realities of life.
The emphasis here lies on romantic love. It is not to diminish the significance of other forms of love such as parental affection or friendships, but to explore that blend of excitement, vulnerability, and connection that is surely the most affecting and tempting emotion that most of us experience in our lives. But beware! It’s a double-edged sword that will have you soaring through the air, heart pounding with excitement, but with a tiny misstep will have you falling towards a confusing sea of emotions.
Like most hopeless romantics, I used to believe in that idealized version of romantic love. That was until I met "Her". At first, sparks flew and conversations effortlessly carried us away. Suddenly, the whole world seemed brighter, and those cheesy love songs didn’t seem so bad after all. I craved that intensity, especially those "perfect" moments. And don't get me wrong, those moments were indeed beautiful. We'd spend hours lost in conversation, the outside world fading into nothingness. It felt like it was just us against the world.
But then, well, life happened.
This is exactly where that "candle tending" metaphor I initially used comes in. That initial intensity was replaced by a comfortable routine. Slowly, the conversations became a little less focused, the silences a little more noticeable. But that was the beauty of true love, it's not just about the initial spark. It's about choosing to nurture the flame, even when it annoys you or fills you with doubt. It's a choice we must make every day to build a love that endures life’s greatest highs and deepest lows, together as one.
Unfortunately, by the time this realization dawned on me, it was far too late. "Her," weary of the unspoken barrier between us, had decided to move on after a few years. Looking back, I later realized I had lost myself in that past relationship. Blinded by the initial spark, I failed to see the cracks forming beneath the surface. My lack of foresight left me unprepared when it all came crashing down.
When she left, I felt the sharp end of that double-edged sword. The love that once soared me to such heights now plunged me into a dark hole. The initial heartbreak was a suffocating weight, that I felt both mentally and emotionally, it was a hollowness echoing louder than ever. For three long months, I sank into a dark pit. The world seemed devoid of color and joy. During those days, movies about heartbroken people became my medicine, films like "Chungking Express" and "500 Days of Summer" resonated deeply and helped me bear that unbearable loneliness and melancholy.
But then again, life interrupted.
The agonizing wait until last February, when university would finally start, ended, and I, with a heavy heart, left my hometown. The promise of a fresh start, of new experiences and connections, fueled a distant hope that kept me going through those days. As time passed, surrounded by new faces and experiences, I slowly emerged from the darkness, and the lost colors began to seep back into the world. University wasn't just an escape from the pain, it was a rediscovery of myself. Freed from the confines of the relationship, I explored new things, built new friendships, and delved deeper into who I was as a person. The lost sense of self slowly began to return, more resilient and mature.
Despite the heartbreak, despite the dark pit I found myself in, here's why I believe love truly knows no bounds: it has the power to transform us. The pain of losing "Her" shattered my illusions about love, forced me to confront my own shortcomings, and led to a deeper understanding of myself. This self-awareness isn't just about the scars of the past relationship, it's about fertilizing a foundation that someday will open the gate for better possibilities.
Perhaps the greatest testament to love's boundless nature is the fact that, despite the pain, my heart remains open to the possibility of loving again. After all, a new smile has entered my world, one that truly excites me and makes me hopeful for a brighter future. Perhaps it's too soon to know where this will lead. But I am certain about one thing: the heartbreak, the self-discovery, and the unwavering belief in the boundless nature of love have prepared me for this moment.
This time, I approach love with open eyes, a heart ready to give and receive, and a newfound appreciation for the journey, not just the destination. Because love, in all its messy glory, is an essential part of the human experience, and I’m certain I will love again!
