Whispering to You in Heaven

My Dearest Boy, do you hear me?

A little over a decade ago, you came into our lives—no, you became our life. Appachchi brought you home in a Cream Cracker biscuit box, so small yet full of life, only two months old. When we opened the box, there you were, a little fur ball with the most innocent eyes I had ever seen. Fourteen years have passed, but I still see that look when I close my eyes.

You were such a good boy. Always obedient, never causing trouble. You never barked without a reason, never scared good people, and always stood guard against anything or anyone bad. You understood us in ways words could never explain. You never tried to escape, even though we never caged you. Freedom was yours, but you chose to stay. That was the kind of love you gave, pure, unconditional , and unwavering.

But oh, you were jealous! I can still remember how you’d sulk when another dog got too close to us. You’d nudge us as if to remind us, “I’m here. I’m your boy.” Yet, one day, you surprised us by bringing a puppy to our home yourself. Believe it or not, I saw how you welcomed him, guided him, and taught him how to be good, and how to protect us just as you always did. You became a big brother, and watching you take on that role filled my heart with pride.

But then, the end came, and I wasn’t ready. None of us were.

One day, you started peeing inside the house. Amma scolded you, thinking you were just being naughty. We didn’t understand then. We didn’t see the signs. And when we finally did, it was too late.

In your final days, I stayed by your side every single day, except for one. On that day, I had to leave home and travel far. When I returned, you weren’t there to greet me. You didn’t run to the gate, wagging your tail, barking joyfully, telling me all about your day as you always did. Instead, there was only silence. It was unbearable. In that moment, I realized the truth, but my heart refused to accept it.

I called your name over and over. I cried until my chest ached and my voice gave out. I screamed at Amma, asking why she didn’t protect you, why she let this happen. I knew that it wasn’t fair, but I refused to acknowledge that you had left us. I tried to run through the streets searching for you. Was I crazy? Yes! I was. Crazily heartbroken.

Amma told me that you came to see her and Chuty Akka one last time before you closed your eyes. But I wasn’t there. I carry that regret with me every single day. Please forgive your Akka for not being by your side when you left for your good boy's  journey to heaven.

In the first few days after you left, we were completely lost. We couldn’t eat, we didn’t cook, and we struggled to function. Every little thing reminded us of you, and all we could do was cry—while we bathed, while we studied, while we tried to go about our day. The house felt so empty, so lifeless, without your presence. It was as if the heart of our home had disappeared.

Two years have passed since you left, but the pain remains just as sharp. I still feel the sting of losing you every single day, along with the immense regret of not being there to say goodbye. What hurts the most is that you’ve never visited me in my dreams, not even once. I can’t help but wonder why. Are you angry with me? Or maybe you’ve found peace, or perhaps you’re waiting for the right moment.

Lately, you’ve been on my mind more than ever. I find myself crying for you often, missing you in ways that words can never truly capture. Where are you, my boy? I wish you could come to me, even if just for a fleeting moment. I long to see you, to hold you, and to tell you all the things I couldn’t say before, how much I love you and how deeply I miss you. Just once, my dearest boy. Please come to me in my dreams. Akka is waiting. We all are waiting for you.

Akka, Chuty Akka, Amma, and Appachchi love you always and forever.

Love is a wagging tail, a warm nuzzle, and eyes that hold your soul. They give us their everything in the little time they have, asking only for love in return. But life moves too fast, and we forget. Forget to cherish their every wag, every bark, every quiet moment curled up by our side. Then one day, their corner is empty, and the silence cuts deeper than words ever could. Don’t wait to realize how much they mean until it’s too late. Love them fiercely now because their time is fleeting, but their love is forever.